We are nearing Siparia and I could feel the energy of Our Lady permeating my being with an opening of every pore in my body and the tingling in my lower jaw and teeth. What does She want to say before my arrival at her doorstep ? Is She preparing me or am I becoming anxious or afraid as we near her hometown? My teeth are chattering and i feel myself enter another space that is outside time but I am still there in the car listening to Joan and Kara talk about the calypso playing on the car radio. I try to get fully present in the middle of what is going on inside of me and outside of me but I cannot control any of it. I simply do not know what would happen next as I try to integrate the La Divina Pastora energies. She had asked me in a vision to pay her a visit.  I had been reluctant to go but well meaning friends had convinced me that I should go. I heard myself telling the others from a far place within me, 

“She is here, I can feel her. Remember She grants wishes.”

We pull up at the Church gates but there are many cars parked in and around the church. It seemed as if there would be some kind of special church service so we scurry around the nearby street to find a safe parking spot. Well-dressed people, mostly women and young girls make their way to the church wide opened front doors as my other friends arrive and we greet each other. A special entrance to La Deveen (Our Lady’s nickname) is assigned to pilgrims to her shrine and we are ushered there by one of the women. I did inquire as to the nature of the service about to be conducted by no other than His Grace the Archbishop of the Holy Roman Catholic Church of Trinidad and Tobago. It was to be a farewell mass for two sisters of the Holy Faith Convent both of whom had served over sixty years in Trinidad. One of them were returning to Ireland and the other to enter St Theresa’s Convent in Port-of –Spain for the rest of her life. What a happy coincidence I thought; we would be witnessing a celebratory mass!

La Deveen’s iconic statuette was situated to the left of the altar in a glass showcase. She was perched high above us, beautifully turned out in silver and white. Her black face beamed down on us with what seemed to me as a smilingly tolerant air. Her even blacker hair was tucked away along her back and veil but some of it framed her serene but curious face. Kara hands me the vase of roses we brought for her and I placed them reverently on the table under her glass case alongside the other flowery offerings that pilgrims had brought. A small voice had whispered to me that I should carry flowers for Our lady and immediately I had a vision of red and white roses. Kara had procured them and now they were at her feet. She looked down at us with her halo of gold stars around her head; she was so beautiful in my eyes. 

Rosary beads draped from the fingers of her left hand reminding me of my own. I reach in my hand bag for them and as I held them, I feel tears fill my eyes. There was so much love in my heart. I let them fall and whispered to Rose that I forgot to bring candles.

“Oh you do not have to worry about that I have brought for us all.” 

She pokes around in her bag pull out a handful of tea candles and distributes to all seven of us. I lit mine and put it on the metal candle stand that separates the steps of the altar from the pilgrim’s corner. Tears are now flowing from my eyes in a rush. I look up at Our Lady and I beg askance at her for the  tower of water that were streaming down my cheeks. I get no response but a great shaking took over my body. I could not focus on her face and I felt no shame to cry so much in public but the pressure to keep from screaming out my joy, disturbance, relief, release at finally meeting Our Lady after my vision of her, is at a word; overwhelming. 

When my weeping abated a bit, I felt rooted to my seat buried in love for the presence of this divine energy of light, love and deliverance. Deliverance? Yes, I felt as if years, centuries of pressure, tension torture  was leaving my mind, body and soul through my tears. I was transfixed and being transformed by the love I knew was beaming from Our Lady. The love was so pure, so sacred that I felt raw, naked, innocent, heavenly yet deeply connected to the Earth and everything in and on Her. How is this possible?  I asked.

And she answered, I not only feel this love for you but I know you feel this for me. This as her voice or telepathic communication rebounded off every part of my body. I was hearing her in every part of my body without hearing the sound of an actual voice!

I reasoned to myself. Yes, I had been looking for this inner completeness not just in this lifetime but in so many others. I remembered the taste and smell of the frustration of feeling separated and divided up into thousands of fragments. And now by some miraculous connection to La Deveen I was beginning to feel whole again after a tearful, cathartic release. I was inside love, love of self that was so encompassing it included everything and everyone that lived. I could feel myself slipping into the ugly cry of Oprah fame and just stopped myself as muffled sounds gurgling in my throat threatened to burst out in wild screams of joy and reunion. This little statuette packed a powerful punch of power, releasing a flood of tears that brought me to my hitherto unknown hidden aspects of my life as woman. That is what I felt in that moment but little did I know that was only the beginning of her entry into my secret womanhood.

I inquired of her, “Who are you?”

I am the wild woman. I have roamed and roamed through time, never finding a place to settle. In this present form I came to the native people, the first people of these lands, the first flesh and blood guardians of the Earth.  But on the advent of the established church I have found a settling, a distilling of my instincts that has brought a peace to my ‘being’. You have seen this in your own saying of the Rosary beads which has revolutionised the prayers according to Sacred Geometry. Listen to the choir sing, I find such solace in their songs, the harmony the lifting of their voices and heart raised in praise to God, the Source of All. I am happy here but listen to His Grace; listen to him talk being about called to do his work, his vocation. Young people are not being encouraged to take up the priesthood nor the nunnery and this does not please him. But he is not being current, he is not reading the writing on the wall. Times have changed, the church too has to change. I like what you women do; this Reiki, it is beautiful and it brings good feeling and balance to others. Use it, organise yourselves and spread this light to all who want it. I am in that too. Love of God is for all! I am for the All.

Feel my love in your heart, feel your heart open up to the energies that I emit and we will communicate. You must come to me with an open heart; something must ignite the fire for communication with me. And yes, I do grant wishes, am I not of creation? I want to help you. I want you to have your heart desires but you must be open. No holding back, no dishonesty; come to me with your everything and I will make it happen. You, the part of you that belongs to the All creates reality for you and this is done with open feelings. No agendas, only love. Speak to me and I will help you. This is not the only way but it is a way and many have found it and made their life easier. You can do this too. It is not complicated. Organise your desires, priorities, needs, so that when you come to me you are like an open book. You are sure you know what you want and I will find a way for you to realise it. Do not vacillate. I want you to be happy. Happiness is the way to your own truth. 

Come in your sadness, you must know what makes you sad, you must know what makes you angry, you must know what is missing in your life. Be clear about your pain, your grief then ask. Shout it out and I will be there for you. This is what I do. Do not all mothers want the best for their children?  And so it is with me. I will give you joy.

 And when you get it say thanks. Be in gratitude because this is what you prayed for. Spread the word, this is Creation working in your experience of life. I am the feminine working Principle of God and we love each other, we serve each other for the good of mankind and the planet Earth. 

This is the Will of God and I serve All of Humanity. Did not His Grace speak a while ago of the Universal Church and not just the Roman Catholic Church? I encourage everyone to come to here to Siparia, the old land of my people before the Europeans came.

The East Indians understand my connection to this planet as the Female Creative force of Kali, for they know my wild side and the culling of my nature to manifest good in the world. But I find peace in the prayers of the established Roman Catholic Church which must now reform its ways to give the female force its equal stabilising place before it topples over. 

Support this new pope and do not be afraid to speak up for change. But most importantly be the change you want to see. Feel it in your being first, practice it in your life and it will spread. I leave you now knowing full well you will not dilute my message. I will speak to you again. I look forward to our communication as you integrate the new light and energy you were given today. Fare you well and we will meet again. I thank you. Go in peace and light. 

Thus spake the Our Lady La Divina Pastora at her shrine in Siparia. Thank you La Deveen!